[“Christmas In Clyde” is the third film of my “5 Queer Holiday Shorts for 2022” post. To read the next review, “Adam and Steve”, click HERE. To read the previous review, “Xmas Eve Eve“, click HERE.]
Once again this year, YouTube lead me to another lesbian queer Christmas short film, “Christmas In Clyde”. Alysse Dalessandro, the plus-sized fashion blogger, LGBTQ influencer, writer, designer, and professional speaker behind the blog Ready to Stare, both was the writer and star of this cute amateur lesbian film. Taking many of the common tropes of Hallmark Christmas films, “Christmas In Clyde” is a very short, condensed version that adds a generally missing lesbian romance to the heart of the story. Unfortunately despite it’s happy ending, I couldn’t overlook the plot clichés, poor cinematographic elements, and drawn out montages. But was it all bad? Keep reading to find out why “Christmas In Clyde” is still a queer holiday short worth watching.
Synopsis of “Christmas In Clyde”
It’s the holidays. A time that nearly everyone loves. But for Callie, it’s the most wonderful time of the year – because she can work in the office all by herself! That is until her boss barges in wanting to send her to her hometown of Clyde to finalize the purchase of a property currently about to default on their mortgage so they can build some condos. She is reluctant because of past memories and the reasons why she left Clyde, but her boss reminds her that the Senior Partner opening closes soon – and this would greatly help her chances! Reluctantly, she returns home after years away. Arriving in the streets of small town USA, Callie stops in at the local coffee shop in the retail space of the office building she’s there to purchase for her usual drink. Lo and behold, the girl serving coffee recognizes Callie – it’s her ex-girlfriend, Bonnie!
Fumbling for a reason to why she’s finally back in town, she confesses that she’s there to visit her aunt cause no one else wanted her. However Bonnie convinces Callie to head to the local bar for some games and to catch up. That evening, Bonnie forces Callie to don a Christmas sweater before they catch up and play board games in the local LGBT bar. Eventually, Bonnie asks why Callie left Clyde… revealing that they were the first gay couple in the town. However, that’s exactly why Callie left – she couldn’t be herself and be out & proud, so off she went to the big city. Bonnie won’t let Callie off the hook so easily, remarking that the town has greatly changed. They’re sitting in a gay-friendly bar, there’s a Gay Straight Alliance at their old school – and Bonnie is working hard to buy the building her coffee shop is in to create an LGBTQ Center! Uh oh. Callie deflects anything further as they enjoy their games.
But Callie is jolted back to reality the next morning when she wakes up to a phone call from her boss demanding an update on the building purchase. She admits that it’s complicated – but he doesn’t care; he wants the building! However Bonnie shows up with fancy coffees in hand, asking for Callie’s help to decorate the LGBTQ Center. Over the course of the morning, they make cookies, set up the Christmas tree, and enjoy each other’s company – all while Callie ignores repeated calls from her boss. Finally she hears her phone and answers her boss. He’s demanding results, going so far as to remark that the promotion and her job are now at stake! But as she’s talking updating him about the situation, Bonnie overhears that they’re talking about her building! They fight and Callie leaves, quite upset. Back in her room, she has a brilliant idea and rings up the bank herself!
This morning, Callie awakes cheery and bright. While she’s on her way over to see Bonnie, her boss calls demanding results. But Callie confesses that she found an alternate buyer for the building – and then she quits! Knocking on Bonnie’s door, Bonnie does not want to talk. But Callie persists until she finally opens the door. Callie confesses that she forgot what it was like being around people who love her, and that home isn’t a place but a feeling. Speaking of homes, she teases, Callie asks Bonnie to live together – she took out a mortgage herself and paid off Bonnie’s defaulting loan! She confesses that she did this for Bonnie, but also so that all the kids in Clyde won’t have to go through the same crap they both had to growing up. As they embrace for a kiss, the camera pans up to the mistletoe hanging above Bonnies door.
The Critique
Let’s start of the worst part of this queer holiday short film – the fact that if you took out all of the montages, this short would be another 3.5 minutes shorter. And with a run time of only 13m…. that’s a decent chunk of screen time! Now, I will confess that some of these montages are useful, and one could even argue that a few are actually needed. After all, a montage is a great way to move along a story without awkward jumps. Every film should have an intro – and in “Christmas in Clyde”, this opening montage actually works well. We get an overview of the small town of Clyde (A key point to the story!) along with a narrative intro to our lead in a very Hallmark Christmas film trope. But this is a short film – NOT a full-length feature film that requires such an in-depth opening.
The trouble with this queer holiday film’s montages is that it quickly feels like every minute, there is yet ANOTHER montage! We get the opening montage, then another long montage while Callie packs and heads back to Clyde (with yet even more scenic views of Clyde itself! Either pick the opening montage or at this moment to show Clyde; both is just a waste of screen time.) There’s another montage in the cafe while Callie & Bonnie catch up, chat, and play games. Finally, about halfway through the film, while they decorate the LGBTQ centre, this perhaps is the only montage that was actually needed because it shows how much Callie ignores the repetitive calls from her boss. But does it need to be a solid minute where they merely rearrange Christmas cookies on a plate or decorate the same tree over and over? Nope! The abundance of montages overwhelm the viewer, affect the pacing of the short film, and greatly distract from the actual cute story.
My other big issue with “Christmas In Clyde” is that it’s nearly a carbon copy of almost all Hallmark-esque holiday films when it comes to the story itself. The small-town girl who moved to the big city to escape troubles growing up, is forced to return back home and has to deal with the clashing morals that ensue. With this queer Christmas short, we get an even extra trope in that her boss wants to buy a property that her ex-girlfriend currently is struggling to pay off. Except it all unfolds over the course of just two days! Yes, they are ex-lovers who have a past – but while Bonnie seems ready to rekindle things between them, Callie has no intention of returning to Clyde. But after some games and time decorating together, suddenly Callie is ready to quit her job, move back to Clyde, AND move in with Bonnie. Whoa – even for exes that’s unbelievably fast!
The only thing that makes the story different from all of the other same overused storylines out there in Christmas films is that we have an LGBTQ element: the building in question is meant to be an LGBTQ center and safe haven for queer folk in small town Clyde. Sure, the writers get to expand on characters a bit because Callie left after being one of the first out lesbians in such a conservative small town. Bonnie explains that things have greatly improved – which is great! But then provides the conflict for Callie having to decide between her work – or her ex and hometown. Great conflict – but again, almost a direct copy of nearly every other holiday film in existence. And they then try to condense what really is enough story for a feature film into a very short, short film!
However if you can read through the lines of what I’m sure appears to be a thorough bashing of “Christmas In Clyde”, there is actually a lot of decent aspects to this queer holiday short film! Both Alysse Dalessandro & Melissa Connelly fit their roles well and have decent chemistry together that doesn’t feel forced. I couldn’t quite say the same about the boss though, as the way the role was written came off as pretentious – and not in a way that balanced the others. And of course I will always encourage films to include more LQBTQ content – especially when it comes to Lesbian content as gay stories tend to overwhelm the niche.
With overused Hallmark-esque storylines and way too many distracting montages forced into a very short short film, my overall rating for “Christmas In Clyde” is not actually that great. These key issues overlap into multiple areas that brought the film’s score down. BUT – because our writer & lead, Alysse Dalessandro, threw in a specifically Lesbian twist, this queer Christmas film gets a slight reprieve. With a bit more actual screen time to fully flesh out the story (without having to rely on montages to skip along!), this could possibly be a decent queer Christmas film. Overall, “Christmas In Clyde” is a cute lesbian short film that adds to a quickly growing niche. It’s worth watching just for that alone!
Queer Relevance of “Christmas In Clyde”
There’s two strong reasons why this queer holiday film is queer relevant. First of all, despite following overused story tropes, “Christmas In Clyde” gives them a twist by featuring a lesbian couple at the centre of the story. There’s even more hidden LGBTQ gems within the script, especially as Bonnie is sharing how much the backwards small-town of Clyde has changed and even embraced it’s growing queer life. Heck, the building at the centre of the dispute is being repurposed as an LGBTQ centre! The other reason why this is a queer relevant film is because it’s written by Alysse Dalessandro – a queer blogger and influencer. So not only should we support a lesbian story, but we equally need to support our fellow queer filmmakers & writers to create even more quality queer films!
