Question 1

History of National Coming Out Day

Accepted Answer

On October 11, 1987, over 500,000 people gathered to march and demand better rights for the LGBTQ community in the first National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. That march lead to a huge momentum in Washington that lasted for over four months!

National Coming Out Day (NCOD) was the brainchild of Rob Eichberg and Jean O’Leary. The intent of this annual day was to respond to the anti-LGBTQ actions in Washington at the time in a positive way. To celebrate coming out positively, rather than react defensively. They chose October 11, 1988 for the first NCOD in order to commemorate the incredible march the year before while also serving as an annual reminder that one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out. To stand up and proudly state: "I am Queer!"

With their initial headquarters with the National Gay Rights Advocates, that first NCOD reached 17 states. By 1990, after a major media push and combining with the Human Rights Campaign, NCOD was celebrated in all 50 states. For many years, the HRC created a yearly theme to help advocate and push the expansion of NCOD.

Question 2

When & Where Is National Coming Out Day Celebrated?

Accepted Answer

October 11th is officially National Coming Out Day for the United States.

While it is unofficially celebrated world-wide by every Queer person, this day is also officially recognised in Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom.

Question 3

Why is Coming Out Still Important today?

Accepted Answer

Unfortunately, not everyone is able to make this decision for themselves - they are often outed by others. It's usually as an attack that is meant to belittle, demean, or even ruin that person's life. Being outed is one of the worst things that anyone can experience, and when it happens to someone younger who does not have a strong support network, tragedy can strike. The more we can do to make the world more accepting, then we can literally save lives!

Additionally there's the harsh truth that we're always having to "come out" simply be being LGBTQ. Even in liberal societies and countries, heteronormativity remains. Every new job usually results in a coming out of sorts, even if it's just casual talk about your partner during breaks. If you travel abroad, there are literally some countries where you have to go back in the closet just to stay safe (I personally had to be quite reserved while travelling across Russia in 2017 - and even skipped going a gay bar in Yekaterinburg because it had been RAIDED only a few months prior!)

So while National Coming Out Day is a first and foremost a celebration of everyone who has come out, it is also a day where we share the amazing resources out there to help and support those struggling with their identities. And while the focus is still on coming out, the day is just as important as another way to advocate and raise awareness to the LGBTQ community and the civil rights movement.

Question 4

Additional Resources

Accepted Answer

There are many incredible resources and guides for anyone who needs support coming out, help understanding family and friends who have come out, or to simply learn more about other LGBTQ identities.

Human Right's Campaign
The Trevor Project
It Gets Better
National Center for Transgender Equality

Question 5

I'm Not Out yet, but I'm ready!

Accepted Answer

If you are not already out, the obvious way to participate is to come out yourself! But make sure that it is YOUR choice, and that you have a support system in place if it doesn't work out how you expect. (Check out the resources above for more info.)

It also does not have to be something huge or celebratory; the community might have a true stereotype of having a flair towards the dramatic... but there's no need to blast it on social media. Even if you only tell one person, congrats!

Question 6

But... I've already come out?

Accepted Answer

Perhaps you're only partially out to friends and family but you still haven't told your coworkers or your extended family? Even if you are fully out, you can still be a strong ally. Fly that rainbow flag proudly. Let the world know that not only are you LGBTQ, but that you are someone to come to for support or to help provide strenght.

And also remember, being an ally is not merely supporting others like you - but ALL of our LGBTQ community. Are you truly an ally to our trans brothers and sisters? Call out transphobia the same as you call out homophobia. Do you continue to dispel and dismiss our Bisexual community, thinking that they're really just gay and afraid to fully admit it? As much as we like to show our pride, our community itself are some of the worst towards each other. It's our duty to change that!

Question 7

I'm not ready to come out...

Accepted Answer

If you are queer but not yet ready to come out yourself, there are still ways to participate! Be an ally to others who come out or who have come out. Call out homophobic or transphobic remarks and views, if you are able and it is safe for you to do so. Simply donating to a worthy cause to help support the LGBTQ community can be a quiet but good means of showing your support.

However, remember that while many will be coming out today - you do NOT have to. It's a personal choice that should not be made under pressure, even if it feels like everyone else around you is coming out.

Question 8

Wait, I'm straight...!

Accepted Answer

If you are not LGBTQ yourself, you can still support National Coming Out Day! Be a straight ally. Call out any homophobic or transphobic remarks you witness. Educate those around you to the struggles of the LGBTQ community. Simply by making it clear that you are an ally helps us all out - especially those who have yet to come out. You may not know who is struggling with their own acceptance, but knowing that you are an ally can be a massive support. So the world that YOU are an LGBTQ ally.

“Personal Story”:

How (NOT) to Come Out of the Closet

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